OMG WTF

The original date of this blog was days ago, I kept that Published button unchecked. Cause I kept adding and erasing.

Here's the thing..I think I'm become a mental case more so than when I was previously whenever that was. I'll tell you why, I see dead people..lol.ok I am kidding. If you notice, I always put 'lol' when I'm joking, it's cause there is no tone or voice with blogs (like d'oh), so I need to let people know when I'm joking and not insane (like insane in the membrane). Anyway, what I mean is at night, I get super paranoid, like someone is trying to come into my apartment. So, I leave the light dimmed on my female light statue (one of the last things I will ever buy from Ikea), placed a mirror in front of my door, make sure the 3 locks and chains are fastened and hopefully it will give me peace of mind.

Now, let me explain. In case the locks and chains weren't enough protection, if someone were trying to break in, the mirror would fall and crack giving me advance notice that someone is trying to get in or has got in. Well, this is my home made alarm system. If someone were to break in, it gives me enough time to contact CSIS, Police, FBI, OPP and for me to Pray to Jesus ( I have them all on speed dial), then after all that jump out of my bed naked, over my obstacle I have in front of my door to my balcony. I have two doors to the balcony (one from the living room and bedroom).

You see, my paranoia comes and goes, my brain is fucked up that way. Like seriously can't we all get along (the voices). When I go to therapy the therapist doesn't know which personality he's talking to, he just gives up. Which leaves me to tackle all this on my own. But,  I've been able to manage and cope by labeling majority of my personalities, kinda like UPC codes. For example, pesonality #DHD453B-R4YL the last four digits are the warning signs..and in this case R4YL means that when this personality comes out... Run 4 Your Life!!

Some odd reason I'm fatique, depressed, confused and have low energy and I'm forgetting thngs very easily, which is extremely odd. It's quite the contrast than how I felt a few days ago, upbeat and lots of energy. Who knows. I was thinking of seeing my doctor, yup, the doctor I won the lotto to see. I've been quite anal. I try to dance it off in my room when I dance to Michael Jackson, Freddie Mercury tunes, but it doesn't help and I can't shake it as much due to the fatique, low energy, confusion feeling. Perhaps it's just depression and stress and working too much. Who knows. I just thought of somethng, I'm definitely going to my doctor, I shouldn't be feeling this way.

Only if you can hear me now..lol.. Words mean so much, it's when you hear the voice that changes everything.

Not like the one I met a couple months ago, who didn't match his look. He called me up and I thought I was going to fall off my rocker. I thought it was my grandmother calling me. I told him, I gotta teach you to be in between. Not feminine and not butch. Oh how I miss him. That and those quckies. Nothing more than what your right hand can't do.

Oh, I want to say this..just cause one has muscles, a toned body...yawwwn....and what not, it doesn't make them any better or powerful than the person who's not. Most times, the one's who want and achieve that 'perfect' look are often insecure with themselves anyway. They tend to think nothing is good enough, so they keep trying to get that perfect look. Big fuckin deal, I'll tell you what's hot. In no particular order,  a smart brain, sex appeal (which could be many things), eyes (nice eyes say A LOT), smile, attitude, unqiueness, sense of humor is huge, smile and everything in between.

I so want a pouch tuck. ($10,000)

A new bed. ($4,500)

A MacBook Pro ($2300)

A Car. ($121,00)

A life. (Balance between work/friends/family) (Priceless)

I just want to conquer the world. (Depends)

Isn't this blog about me??  (Priceless)

I open my window and all I hear are buses, cars and annoying street noises.  At least they're not voices.

OMG WTF!

Is what my T-Shirt says.

YOU found me!

OMG WTF (Oh my gawd, What the fuck)

Ok, I clicked that Published button..ok..I will click it.

If you don't understand my humor, you'll think I have lost my marbles.